Monday, October 7, 2013

Fear... #31daychallenge #days6&7

So, I rested on the sabbath. Here are days 6&7 in one.

As an adult I have been very into Halloween. Not the horror movie, gory, voodoo lover halloween but the pumpkin loving, vintage halloween decor lover. I have no clue what brought it out in me. We were not huge on it growing up. I'm pretty sure we didn't "do" halloween for a few years growing up, maybe I'm just going overboard to make up for it? Never did I feel like I was missing out on anything but candy, and my oldest brother still thinks I'm walking on the dark side because I believe in Santa as well.... But it's fun, and my house looks pretty darn cute, and most importantly my kids love it. It is interesting to me what brings out the fear in them. They can watch the nightmare before Christmas ( I'm not a Tim Burton fan but for some reason I'm ok with this one) and not be afraid, watch most of Jurassic park and not be afraid, skeletons-check, ghosts-check, jack the pumpkin head-check... But you bust about the cute ghost that laughs and it makes Ava nervous, the orange halloween lights took both Ava and Max some time to warm up to, bugs, spiders... Heck no there is just no space for those in my house. It is a "scary" time if year. For some reason it has been very fear filled for me. 

I love some of random (sometimes cheesy) Facebook posts on God or scripture. Because 9 times out of ten I needed to read them. The latest one I came across was a small list, two columns, one column was things of God and one was things not of God. It irritates me that I cannot remember the entire list but I remember being surprised. Not because I didn't know that fear was not of God, but I was surprised at what a comfort the list was and how easy it has become for me to forget what is NOT of Him. So, I have been realizing two things during this spooky time of year. 1) I have been fear filled and that is not of God and 2) the fear has been geared toward my children- and they have become an idol. Which  is hard for me to even say because we make idol such a bad word- it's associated with horrible things but idols CAN be good things but those things can bred fear and other items off that list that are not from The Lord. Lily Grace's "ADD" ( I don't do labels but you know what I mean), Ava has had a bump on her head now for 10 days and you know where that takes my mind... Sometimes I think webMd,  as useful as it can be, I think it's satan. I love our pediatrician - she is constantly saying don't google, don't web md- I could diagnose my entire family with a fatal disease with no severe symptoms in minutes. FEAR. It occupies so much of my day to. One look at Lily Grace and I hate that she struggles, one brush of Ava's hair and I feel the bump, one cough from Max and I think he will never outgrow this asthma... Liz... FEAR it's not of The Lord! I think God gave this verse to me through my mom for so many reasons I quoted in day 1 I'll quote it again!  " God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power, of love and a sound mind." Fear gives you no power, no love and for SURE not a sound mind. It makes you crazy. 

I had a sweet friend tell me today she had a panic attack while away from her children- we probably all have at one point. Especially that first time you leave your newborn baby to go on a date.... Uhhhh ecstatic and terrified all rolled into one. As my friend was telling me this I just felt so sad for her, For us, we miss out on so much because of fear. Our kids need daddy time, they need grandparent time it is actually good for them  to be away from you every once in a while! This mom in particular I know is crazy in love with her kids! She probably has the same problem I do, they have become idols, and instead of handing our children over to the master, we put the death grip on them, and what does that do? Chokes them and makes your hands tired. It is exhausting.... Worrying= not from The Lord either, and it can wear you out... We are so tired because we are so worried about our parents, friendships, children... Lily Grace tonight was worried on how to handle a situation at school and I threw the classic WWJD at her, but it's so true. Panic about the kids? WWJD? Panic about health? WWJD? I need to bring those bracelets back- they made the saying so cheese but it is so true! God did make a spirit of fear innate in us! 

Not really sure where all of this goes but it is where I have been stuck, and had I had more time with my friend I would have shared that, I'm there, a lot of us are fearful for different reason, but it's not from God. I read somewhere that "do not fear" is written 365 times in the Bible (I have not counted I do not know it to be true) but if it it is, that is a every day in a year reminder.... DO NOT FEAR. I am with you. 
I heard a song we sang in our high school youth group the other day on the radio and hit me now just like it did then 

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you
And the waves, they shall not, overcome you
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you
I have called you by name, you are mine
For I am The Lord your God,
I am The Lord your God
I am the Holy one of Israel
Your savior

When you pass through the fire, you'll not be hurt
And the flames will not consume you
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you
I have called you by name, you are mine..."

Love it, love how God reminds me even in song. Do not fear...

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