Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Tight Squeeze... #31daychallenge #day2

When we moved to Hickory 5 years ago, it felt like we looked at houses FOREVER. They were either over our budget, or under our budget and SCARY. We accidentally drove by our current home and I made Jeffery stop the car and... I knew. I knew I wanted it, didn't care what the inside looked like (if you saw my kitchen you would say "obviously"). I could see my babies in the yard, I could see us growing old there, met the neighbors- loved them. SOLD. We went to one more house after we saw it and I SOBBED (which if you know me is totally out of character). So God gifted us this home and we still love it, it is us. It is old, quirky, backwards and lovely to us. So when we bought, we had two kids and now we have four. Unexpected gifts. So, Jeffery and I have had an ongoing dialogue about our home situation. We have officially outgrown our butler's pantry and our bathrooms, and the kitchen is about as big as our master bath. So... do we move or renovate? Our kids will only get bigger... I have said, heck no, from the beginning. No way am I leaving this house. Jeffery is pretty open to either idea but I believe favors the move and really thinks we need more space. We have looked at a few houses in the last two years and every time we have come home and looked at each other and said 'what the heck were we thinking??' We were watching HGTV a few weeks ago and a husband said to his wife "you know how I feel about space, smaller home, closer family" BAM, HA, In your face Jeffery Wayne I am right! The kids have never complained about sharing rooms, the kitchen is pretty horrible but completely functional, we are good!

Well, we were good until we saw dream house #2. Not a TON bigger, and still an old quirky home, BUT everything has been UPDATED, we wouldn't have to do a thing to it.... And it is about a boat load of $$ OUT of our price range. Darn you Dave freaking Ramsey. We should bend over backwards, get this house and be house poor and stressed and miserable, yep lets. Then reality and the Lord hit. Look around you at the gift I already gave you. You begged me, stretched yourself and received it and now you have found greener grass... I feel like I do that all the time with God. PLEASE keep my children healthy... oh and make them perfect, smart, popular and "normal" (whatever that means). PLEASE give me a husband... Oh, and make him sinless, perfect and make him wait on me hand and foot. PLEASE let me be more like you... but make it easy, natural and comfortable. I ask for so much and He gives so freely and then I ask for more or for ease. All this to say I pray I can be a little more narrow minded. In the way that a smaller house, tight squeeze, means closer family. I healthy child means a full life, full of mistakes and miracles. A husband, that is perfectly imperfect and a mess right alongside his even more imperfect wife. A God-like me, but one step at a time and room for grace. He gave me my dream home, He could take it away just as easily or give me my next one but I will be happy in my tight squeeze for as long as He has me here...

1 Timothy 6:6 "But Godliness with contentment is great gain"

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